Monday, November 29, 2010

Immensely Favored

Some days I am so overwhelmed by the bustle of the Johnson household. It seems there is always something to be cleaned or made or a fight to break up. The mere task of keeping 7 people fed and cleaned up after is a full time job in itself. Tonight as I sat in my recliner with my lap top writing and listening to Dallas read her two school books to me.  I simultaneously answered questions from Mallory and Cassidy, and held baby Leland in my arms. Lee and Alana were sitting a few feet away watching UFC fights with the volume up loud enough for the nearest neighbors to hear. I was asked by Dallas every few minutes "are you listening Mama?" " Yes baby I am" I replied, trying to sound completely interested. Then I close the screen to my laptop. I survey all that is going on around me. My precious family, my life, I wouldn't have it any other way. How favored am I? Immensely!

*** Angela Jennifer ***

Friday, November 26, 2010

Your Real Enemy

There is a constant battle raging in the spirit for our souls and although our earthly vision is limited to that of the tangible it doesn't change this fact. There is an enemy who is lurking and scheming to make his way into every situation. The Lord taught me long ago that satan can and will work through people. When he does we can react in one of two ways. We can act in the flesh or see with spiritual eyes to the truth of the matter. That truth being that the individual is no more than a puppet in the hands of our real enemy. This is by no means an easy task. We are humans and are hurt and affected by the things that happen to us. Recognizing the truth is half the battle. You gain an upper hand immediately by seeing that the enemy's hand is in the situation. Whatever your going through, whoever has hurt you, I urge you to give the situation a spiritual look. Give the battle to the Lord, forgive and go in peace. Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord. 

*** Angela Jennifer ***

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Battle for my dreams

He laughs as he points and mocks me.
Although he is invisible to the eye I can still see.

Do you really think you are winning in this battle for my dreams?
My God will not let me be defeated, even though I am not quite sure what all of this means.

*** Angela Jennifer ***

Monday, November 15, 2010

Eating Disorder Part 2

When did I come to the conclusion that I have a (disorder) in this area? For many years I sought the Lord and as I prayed for help he slowly revealed it to me.

An alcoholic, drug addict or over eater never sets out to become one. Its a slow process of bad decision after bad decision. Low self - esteem, past hurts and the like in some of us can trigger a fight or flight response. This is when we begin to go down the road of addiction in an effort to extinguish emotions that may surface if we were to "stay" and fight.

 I always asked God "why don't you just make me skinny and not want to eat?" I truly believe that I serve a healing God and he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants. I know that he can make a person new and set them free in one instant if it is his will. So why wouldn't it be in his will to heal and deliver me? He began over the process of several years showing me..." It most certainly IS my will to heal and deliver you from this BUT I want to take you to the root of your problem and heal you from the inside out." I thought ... Why does every road I take have to be so long and difficult!? Let me share something with you all ...... God doesn't do anything half way. This in itself is a tremendous blessing but usually uncomfortable to the flesh.

The Lord wants to take his healing balm all the way to the depths of who you are. He isn't interested in just touching the surface, he wants to dig down deep and bring complete and total healing to the Glory of His name.

to continue.....

*** Angela Jennifer ***

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Eating Disorder.... Part 1

Is there something in your life you have been struggling with for years? Some big monster you cant seem to conquer? Is there a prayer in your heart that has been offered to the Lord for years? For me there is. My never ending prayer for help with losing weight and keeping it off. To be delivered from the eating disorder that has bound me since I was a small child. 

When you think eating disorder you probably think bulimia or anorexia, but there are many kinds of disorders in this genre. Mine has been an unending battle that goes back as far as I can remember. An unhealthy cycle of dieting, bingeing, self punishment and back to dieting again. Over and over and over again. 

This afternoon God directed me to look the word disorder up in the dictionary. This is what I found.... 
Disorder - lack of order, confusion , sickness, disease..... put out of order,destroy the order of, throw into confusion, to cause sickness in. Wow! This is an exact explanation of what I have been going through since the age of  about 4 or 5. What I have been seeing as my personal enemy..... food.

*** Angela Jennifer ***

to continue.......