An Answer Revealed

The following was written about a year and a half ago. I am often reminded of what God revealed to me the day I wrote this. He was very specific as he directed me to write down all that he showed me. I am now  seeing Gods plans come forth. As I follow his lead he is opening all the doors for me. Doors that I could never open on my own......


For a long time I have asked the question...What is it that I’m destined for Lord? This is something that has been weighing heavily on my heart especially of late. I have said to myself and others countless times...." I don't know what my place is in this world" Well ....God, being the ultimate lover of my soul spoke much t o my heart a few nights ago. How faithful He is to answer those who diligently seek him! I’ve found that the more broken you are before him the easier it is to hear his words. He asked me some questions and directed me to write them down.... In what area do my natural gifts and talents lye? What do I find most fulfilling and enjoyable? Hmmm…As soon as I wrote these down he said “Now answer them and write it down” So I wrote… Creativity…. Creation….Expression... Artistic Expression. I sat staring at the paper as I felt my heart begin to fill with his words….”Now be more specific, and write it down” A smile came across my face as I jotted down those things which I am most passionate about… Writing, Music, Film, and Photography. He explained something to me next which I will always remember and hold close to my heart. “Child, this is the path you are destined to pursue. The reason you enjoy these so much is because I have placed that desire within you for them. I will use you in this area because it is my will” Why am I so fulfilled when I am writing or journaling? Because of that which he has placed within me. Every child of God will be most satisfied when doing the will of their Father. He continued to reveal that it is not wrong or sinful to be in a job that you are not happy with or find no fulfillment in. BUT it is not his BEST for you! It is within his permissible will… but not his PERFECT will. God wants all of his children to be enlightened in this area. There are gifts each of us posses and we put them to the side or sometimes even forget about them. Going through the motions of life, and dreading to go to work another day. Doing the same old thing is not bringing glory to his name. God wants each and every one of us to enjoy our lives and be satisfied and content in what we contribute to society. Through this God has revealed his heart towards me once again. He loves me and he cares about what is going on in my life. He doesn’t want me to stay in the same place I have been. What he wants is for me to move forward and step into my destiny. Only there will I find the treasure of contentment that is waiting for me...... Amazing! 


*** Angela Jennifer ***

~Memories~

There is a dwelling place in the back of my mind where memories reside.
Some ,I intentionally look for. I find them, dust them off and welcome them with open arms.
A few are hidden away,off limits so to speak... laying amidst the cobwebs... obedient to stay where I have placed them.
Others I cant get away from try as I may.
Ever before me, displaying their menacing smiles.
I put them away, lock them up tight and shut the door.
Still, they find their way back... piercing my heart again and again.
I look them full in the face as I utter the words....
"What must I do to finally be rid of you?"


*** Angela Jennifer ***

Emerging Butterfly

Each of us have our own journey in life. 
We are constantly being changed and transformed with each step we take.
Every struggle ... every victory ... is all for a greater purpose. 
We are slowly being molded into something beautiful.
God is peeling away all of the outer layers of mess.
Until we emerge ... from our shell.
A mirror image of Christ. 


Butterfly = Transformation
                 Beauty
                 Freedom




*** Angela Jennifer ***

Immensely Favored

Some days I am so overwhelmed by the bustle of the Johnson household. It seems there is always something to be cleaned or made or a fight to break up. The mere task of keeping 7 people fed and cleaned up after is a full time job in itself. Tonight as I sat in my recliner with my lap top writing and listening to Dallas read her two school books to me.  I simultaneously answered questions from Mallory and Cassidy, and held baby Leland in my arms. Lee and Alana were sitting a few feet away watching UFC fights with the volume up loud enough for the nearest neighbors to hear. I was asked by Dallas every few minutes "are you listening Mama?" " Yes baby I am" I replied, trying to sound completely interested. Then I close the screen to my laptop. I survey all that is going on around me. My precious family, my life, I wouldn't have it any other way. How favored am I? Immensely!




*** Angela Jennifer ***

Your Real Enemy

There is a constant battle raging in the spirit for our souls and although our earthly vision is limited to that of the tangible it doesn't change this fact. There is an enemy who is lurking and scheming to make his way into every situation. The Lord taught me long ago that satan can and will work through people. When he does we can react in one of two ways. We can act in the flesh or see with spiritual eyes to the truth of the matter. That truth being that the individual is no more than a puppet in the hands of our real enemy. This is by no means an easy task. We are humans and are hurt and affected by the things that happen to us. Recognizing the truth is half the battle. You gain an upper hand immediately by seeing that the enemy's hand is in the situation. Whatever your going through, whoever has hurt you, I urge you to give the situation a spiritual look. Give the battle to the Lord, forgive and go in peace. Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord. 

*** Angela Jennifer ***

Battle for my dreams

He laughs as he points and mocks me.
Although he is invisible to the eye I can still see.

Do you really think you are winning in this battle for my dreams?
My God will not let me be defeated, even though I am not quite sure what all of this means.

*** Angela Jennifer ***

Eating Disorder Part 2

When did I come to the conclusion that I have a (disorder) in this area? For many years I sought the Lord and as I prayed for help he slowly revealed it to me.

An alcoholic, drug addict or over eater never sets out to become one. Its a slow process of bad decision after bad decision. Low self - esteem, past hurts and the like in some of us can trigger a fight or flight response. This is when we begin to go down the road of addiction in an effort to extinguish emotions that may surface if we were to "stay" and fight.

 I always asked God "why don't you just make me skinny and not want to eat?" I truly believe that I serve a healing God and he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants. I know that he can make a person new and set them free in one instant if it is his will. So why wouldn't it be in his will to heal and deliver me? He began over the process of several years showing me..." It most certainly IS my will to heal and deliver you from this BUT I want to take you to the root of your problem and heal you from the inside out." I thought ... Why does every road I take have to be so long and difficult!? Let me share something with you all ...... God doesn't do anything half way. This in itself is a tremendous blessing but usually uncomfortable to the flesh.

The Lord wants to take his healing balm all the way to the depths of who you are. He isn't interested in just touching the surface, he wants to dig down deep and bring complete and total healing to the Glory of His name.


to continue.....

*** Angela Jennifer ***